 |
| Image |
I'm sad to say that I haven't read The Happiness Project book in a few weeks. My hubs and I are in the middle of a housing transition so it is probably in a box somewhere. Sigh.
But I've still been thinking quite a bit about happiness and how I can improve my day-to-day disposition. I feel like I've done a lot better in regards to my worrying and control issues. However, I noticed one thing that I do regularly that is seriously getting in the way of my happiness: complaining.
I came to this realization through an unlikely source: the comedian Louis C.K. His stand-up is not for the faint of heart, but I think he has some great insights into American culture. I've been listening to his comedy on the way home from work and yesterday he did a bit about how much people complain about things that we really shouldn't be complaining about. He goes on about how today we have the most amazing technology and it's still not good enough. He says that you rarely hear people saying great things about their phones, for example. We complain when a text message takes too long to send or a picture takes too long to download.
"It's going into space! Can you give it a second?" he implores the audience.
"Even the worst phone in the world is still a miracle!"
I laughed because it is so true. I complain about my iPhone all the time. And then it got me thinking about all the other things I've been complaining about recently...
Things I've Complained About in the Last Week
- The Facebook app taking too long to load on my phone
- A picture not uploading to Instagram
- Being late to a movie
- Having to sit in the front row of the movie theater because we were late
- The comforter on my bed being too warm
- The rain
- Paying $6 to park somewhere
- Someone taking longer than 24 hours to respond to an email
- Traffic
- Traffic
- Traffic
- A rude customer
- Slow Wi-fi
- Having to do work...at work
- "I don't have time to do anything!"
Yikes. I was annoyed at myself just typing out this list. And these are just the things I remember complaining about! I'm sure the list is far more extensive than I care to admit.
I process my feelings verbally, so not complaining is really hard for me. In the moment, I don't see it as a bad thing but I also don't realize how I must sound to other people. Does my husband really want to hear me complain about the apps on my iPhone? Probably not.
I'm not saying we should totally suppress all feelings of dissatisfaction, disappointment or anger. Not at all. BUT I do think that I create unnecessary feelings of unhappiness for myself. Was it really so terrible to have to sit in the front row at the movie theater? Of course not. Yet I distinctly remember leaning over to my husband and whispering, "This is the worst." I'm so embarrassed those words came out of my mouth!
I think it would be beneficial for me to take an inventory of my complaints at the end of each day. Nothing formal, just a mental catalog of what I keep whining about. Maybe I'll start to see a pattern and instead of continuously complaining, try to come up with a solution.
Now that I realize how much I complain about silly things that don't matter, I hope I can push those little negative thoughts aside more often and focus on the good instead. I'm sure those around me will be happier and I'll be much happier too.
Dear Reader, I challenge you to take inventory of your recent complaints! What are some silly things you find yourself complaining about? When do you find yourself complaining more than usual? What are some ways you've learned to combat your compulsion to complain? I can't be the only one who struggles with this, right? Let me know in the comments!
"Happiness is fleeting but joy lasts a life time." I can't decide if I came up with that line on my own or if I read it somewhere...I hear my pastor say this A LOT. God does not promise happiness, but he does promise joy.
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit of complainer too. I actually asked the hubs recently if I complain a lot and he laughed. Laughed! Apparently I do in fact complain a lot. But I'm pregnant so I can get away with many things these days. :)
I joined your blog hop. Are we supposed to talk about complaining or anything special like that? because I didn't.... :) Oops?
ReplyDeleteYes, I definitely see a difference between happiness and joy. You can have joy without necessarily being happy. But I think it's important to realize we don't have to be miserable all the time either! And that's what complaining does for me...it takes away my momentary happiness and it eats away at my sense of joy.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes -- I think pregnant women do get a little bit of a free pass!! You've got a lot on your plate, I'm sure! :)
Aw yay glad you linked up!! Every week we just write about happiness. It's a very open topic!
ReplyDeleteLately I've been complaining about having to keep things in annoying places because we're trying to move and keep our house show-worthy. It's probably not really the crisis I imagine it to be in the moment. Oh, I've also been complaining because my two-year-old daughter got tall enough to reach the top drawers in the kitchen, so I had to put my knives somewhere else and now it's harder to cook. Silly stuff!
ReplyDeleteI certainly needed to read this today! I had such a "blah" day and complained way too much!
ReplyDeleteWell as much as you need to read it, I definitely needed to write it! I even caught myself this morning complaining in my head about silly things. I gotta just let stuff go!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Well keeping your daughter away from knives seems legitimate! But I feel you on the moving stuff. My husband and I are in the process of buying a house and are temp living at my in-laws until we do. Living out of boxes and suitcases for over a month has definitely created situations where I want to complain a lot!
ReplyDeleteBut then my husband and I just need to remind ourselves to be thankful that we can move into a better place! We are definitely fortunate.
This is great (and I'm a relatively new reader). I've been really trying to pay attention to this in my life the past few months (hubby too). We moved to Hawaii in June and I complained a lot about that process...and gave myself grace: moving so far from home WAS stressful. But after the first ten people said to me something like "you're complaining about the heat...in HAWAII?!?!" I realized that my "thankful" list so much trumps my "complaining" list that my mouth and heart need to reflect it. Here in the islands, locals often say "lucky we live in Hawaii". Now, when I find myself about to complain...often about traffic... I say "Ugh this traffic!.... In Hawaii! Lucky I live in Hawaii." It's tough to change old habits but I'm hoping practicing like this will help!
ReplyDeleteSomehow I am just now discovering your blog even though I know we talked about bacon on my blog. ha. But I had to comment because one of yours especially...
ReplyDelete"complaining about having to work...at work"
I do that (internally or texting my husband) all the time. haha. Seriously, such a hard life...having to TYPE THINGS while people pay me for it. Gah. ;)
Hey Laura. Glad you made your way over here. Complaining about work at work is something I feel like everyone does. It's as if it still surprises us everyday that when we go to work we are getting paid to actually do some work. I act as if its some big inconvenience for me to do my job! haha :)
ReplyDeleteFirst, thanks so much for being a new reader! Second, I love your "...In Hawaii" mantra that you say to yourself! How funny! I should create something like that when I'm complaining about silly things. Moving is legitimately stressful. I am going through a housing transition myself and it is not fun. But hey, you could have moved somewhere way worse than Hawaii ;)
ReplyDelete