10.24.2012

wedding guest etiquette 101

Serena Grace Photography

This is one of those weeks where Friday can't come soon enough. And not just for the obvious reason that the weekends are infinitely more fabulous than workdays. This Friday is extra special because my dear friend is getting married and I will be a bridesmaid for the first time! Her bachelorette party was this past weekend in San Diego and we all had a blast. Now it's only a few days until the BIG day and I can't wait. 

Obviously, weddings have been on my mind a lot as I prepare for my bridesmaid duties this week. And as I look back on my own wedding and the many lovely weddings I've attended over the years, I can't help but think of the funny, awkward and sometimes downright embarrassing stories of wedding guests gone bad. I thought I would reflect on some of the most common missteps that I've seen among wedding guests in hopes that we can all do our part to not drive the bride and groom even crazier.



Wedding Guest Etiquette 101

Don't assume you are invited to the wedding.  
OK, this one might be a hard pill for most people to swallow. But if you find yourself on the uninvited list for a friend's wedding, don't automatically go into freak-out mode. Look, the harsh reality is that the bride and groom can't invite EVERYONE to their wedding. So if you are merely an acquaintance or a friend that has fallen off the face of the planet, don't act super shocked when the wedding invite isn't in your mailbox. The worst thing you can do when a couple gets engaged is write on their Facebook wall in all caps "I BETTER GET AN INVITE!" Getting an invitation to someone's wedding should be an honor, not an expectation. 

For the love of God, RSVP on time!
When you are planning a wedding, you realize how much is really dependent on how many people are actually going to attend. So those RSVPs are worth their weight in gold. And when you have people who for some unfathomable reason don't RSVP on time, it makes life hell for the bride and groom. Listen, don't make the bride and groom stalk you for your RSVP. Either you're going or you're not! Just make a decision and RSVP! Don't just assume the couple knows you are coming, either. Don't text them. Don't Facebook them. RSVP using whatever reply method they provided for you and do it on time. 

Put your cell phone on vibrate.
I am actually cringing while I'm typing this because people's cell phones going off at inappropriate times is my #1 pet peeve. It's 2012, people. You have no excuse. Everyone knows how to put their cell phone on vibrate. Let me tell you a little story: *Dusts off soapbox* I made sure that the pastor marrying us made an announcement before our ceremony started for everyone to silence or turn off their cell phones. And guess what? Right in the middle of our ceremony, someone decided that they were so bored during one of the most special and important moments of our lives that they had to turn on their cell phone! And of course it wasn't on vibrate. Not OK! Cut the umbilical cord that is attaching you to your iPhone and have some respect please. *Steps down from soapbox*

Bring or send a gift (or at least a card).
I know that going to a wedding can be expensive. But you know what's more expensive? Throwing a wedding. It's not really about the presents, it's more about the principal. Getting married is a pretty big deal. Show some love and get the bride and groom a little something to help them celebrate and start their life together. If you are strapped for cash, don't worry about buying something extravagant. A thoughtful card with a handwritten note goes a long way. But don't just take advantage of the free food and drinks and not give anything at all. 

Don't get wasted.  
I know that everyone wants to have a good time at weddings. But this isn't da club. Act like a semi-responsible adult and don't make people carry you out of the reception hall because you are so drunk (I've seen this happen and it's not cute). Eat, drink, and be merry...just don't eat, drink, drink, drink, drink, and pass out. 


What do you think? Would you add anything to this list? Any wedding guest horror stories? Were YOU the one whose cell phone went off during my wedding ceremony??? Let me know in the comments! 

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