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| Yes, this is my wedding. Dreamy, right? Sigh. Photo by Serena Grace Photography |
This is one of those weeks where Friday can't come soon enough. And not just for the obvious reason that the weekends are infinitely more fabulous than workdays. This Friday is extra special because my dear friend is getting married and I will be a bridesmaid for the first time! Her bachelorette party was this past weekend in San Diego and we all had a blast. Now it's only a few days until the BIG day and I can't wait.
Obviously, weddings have been on my mind a lot as I prepare for my bridesmaid duties this week. And as I look back on my own wedding and the many lovely weddings I've attended over the years, I can't help but think of the funny, awkward and sometimes downright embarrassing stories of wedding guests gone bad. I thought I would reflect on some of the most common missteps that I've seen among wedding guests in hopes that we can all do our part to not drive the bride and groom even crazier.
Wedding Guest Etiquette 101
Don't assume you are invited to the wedding.
OK, this one might be a hard pill for most people to swallow. But if you find yourself on the uninvited list for a friend's wedding, don't automatically go into freak-out mode. Look, the harsh reality is that the bride and groom can't invite EVERYONE to their wedding. So if you are merely an acquaintance or a friend that has fallen off the face of the planet, don't act super shocked when the wedding invite isn't in your mailbox. The worst thing you can do when a couple gets engaged is write on their Facebook wall in all caps "I BETTER GET AN INVITE!" Getting an invitation to someone's wedding should be an honor, not an expectation.
For the love of God, RSVP on time!
When you are planning a wedding, you realize how much is really dependent on how many people are actually going to attend. So those RSVPs are worth their weight in gold. And when you have people who for some unfathomable reason don't RSVP on time, it makes life hell for the bride and groom. Listen, don't make the bride and groom stalk you for your RSVP. Either you're going or you're not! Just make a decision and RSVP! Don't just assume the couple knows you are coming, either. Don't text them. Don't Facebook them. RSVP using whatever reply method they provided for you and do it on time.
Put your cell phone on vibrate.
I am actually cringing while I'm typing this because people's cell phones going off at inappropriate times is my #1 pet peeve. It's 2012, people. You have no excuse. Everyone knows how to put their cell phone on vibrate. Let me tell you a little story: *Dusts off soapbox* I made sure that the pastor marrying us made an announcement before our ceremony started for everyone to silence or turn off their cell phones. And guess what? Right in the middle of our ceremony, someone decided that they were so bored during one of the most special and important moments of our lives that they had to turn on their cell phone! And of course it wasn't on vibrate. Not OK! Cut the umbilical cord that is attaching you to your iPhone and have some respect please. *Steps down from soapbox*
Bring or send a gift (or at least a card).
I know that going to a wedding can be expensive. But you know what's more expensive? Throwing a wedding. It's not really about the presents, it's more about the principal. Getting married is a pretty big deal. Show some love and get the bride and groom a little something to help them celebrate and start their life together. If you are strapped for cash, don't worry about buying something extravagant. A thoughtful card with a handwritten note goes a long way. But don't just take advantage of the free food and drinks and not give anything at all.
Don't get wasted.
I know that everyone wants to have a good time at weddings. But this isn't da club. Act like a semi-responsible adult and don't make people carry you out of the reception hall because you are so drunk (I've seen this happen and it's not cute). Eat, drink, and be merry...just don't eat, drink, drink, drink, drink, and pass out.
What do you think? Would you add anything to this list? Any wedding guest horror stories? Were YOU the one whose cell phone went off during my wedding ceremony??? Let me know in the comments!
Leave the photographing to the photographer. I feel like now since point and shoots and cellphones are such a common thing, people think it's their right to document the whole wedding. They're not even present, instead they're snapping or video tapping as many pictures as they can. The bride and groom don't pay money for a wedding photographer for nothing. I think it's alright to take photos during the reception, and maybe one during the ceremony but actual listen to the vows instead of trying to photograph it.
ReplyDeleteAs a wedding photographer there is nothing that ruins a picture more then a bunch of people holding their phones up trying to get a picture.
Love this!
ReplyDeleteYes! This is something I would have never thought of! Good advice. Wedding guests should try to be in the moment, especially during the ceremony.
ReplyDeleteYour wedding inspired me :) Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAmen to the cell phone bit. I've
ReplyDeleteseen too many vows ruined because of people's cell phones. here's 2 more:
DON'T CALL THE BRIDE ON HER WEDDING
DAY. No, she's not going to let you bring your cousin. No, she doesn't know the
directions to the reception. No, she doesn't care if you lost your invite. Get
it together people!
Also, if you're asked to be a
bridesmaid, perform all of the duties that go along with that honor. If that's
not something you're willing to do, then simply say, "I'm sorry, but I
can't." I had 2 aweful bridesmaids that didn't help with any of the bridal shower or bachelorette planning, and one of them didn't even come to any of the pre-wedding events...even the rehearsal dinner! Can you believe that?
bride's worst nightmare.
OH YES YES YES to the no calling the bride! My girls took my cell phone away asap during my wedding. It was my saving grace. I literally didn't worry about a thing the whole day, it was perfect! There were a few things that went wrong, but I didn't even know about them until after the wedding...which is how it should be!
ReplyDeleteBummer about your bridesmaids :/ It is a big commitment and people need to know its OK to say No to being in a wedding if they can't handle it.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your wisdom! :)
Love this! Especially "this isn't da club".... Lol! I HATE it when people at weddings drink too much. I get that it's fun to be dressed up, dancing, and celebrating, but be respectful! Don't risk putting a damper on the bride and groom's day just so you can get your buzz on. Awful.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I can't believe someone's phone went off during your ceremony! I hope they apologized!
Haha girl I have seen people coming to wedding receptions thinking they are in Vegas! Not OK! People need to control themselves.
ReplyDeleteAnd YES someone turned on their cell phone during my ceremony and it was SO LOUD! I was so annoyed. And I never found out who did it! They're lucky too ;)
YES. This. All of this.
ReplyDeletethough actually I'd say TURN OFF YOUR PHONES or at least set them to silent - the only thing worse than an inappropriately ringing phone is hearing the buzzing as someone tries to be stealthy!
As sad as it sounds, I feel like asking people to turn off their phones is too much these days. People are so attached to their phones! There is so much cell phone etiquette that goes largely ignored. But ESPECIALLY during a wedding you would think people would have some common decency! Sigh.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by :)
This is a great list, and reminds me that I have an unanswered RSVP card sitting on my counter. I need to get it together!!! :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I love the other comment about guests feeling the need to photograph the wedding themselves. I feel like that applies to so many areas of life.
We were once watching some amazing street performers and I looked around only to realize I was the only one actually watching them... everyone else was gazing at the performance through their cell phones while they videotaped it! (Seriously... how often are you really going to go back and watch "those street performers" - or someone else's wedding - on video?)
Anyway, for those who do like guest photography, though, I will recommend an app called "Wedding Snap." You can give all your guests an album code and every photo they take on their phones during your ceremony/reception is uploaded to a central website. Pretty nifty! :)
Just want to add one if you may: please do not overdress for the wedding that you OUTSHINED the bride too much! Great that you found nice dress from some bridal shops long island, but please, it's their day.
ReplyDeleteI really needed this, thanks for the info! I have another one, based on experience: KEEP THE BRIDE STRESS-FREE. I have stress-reliever technique that worked on my best friend. She was gonna do her wedding in Fremantle, but two days before her big day, I left secretly to buy wedding accessories in Perth and surprised her with it. She loves accessories so much, and it really worked! In short, give her everything she wants and needs on her wedding day. I hope that helps.
ReplyDeleteNever overdress! It's the bride's time to shine, not yours. This reminds me of the last wedding I've attended in Fremantle. One of the bride's guests was a fashionista who outshined her. It was awkward, she said she doesn't mean to overdress and she was just following the flow of fashion in Australia. But seriously, she just seemed to show-off in the wrong place.
ReplyDelete